There…I said it. 7.17.08

I really don’t care about getting spam.

Please, get your gasping out of the way now.

Done yet? Good. Now that we’ve taken care of that, why on Earth do people get so worked up about spam email? Okay, so you got an email that you didn’t ask for…

In your free email account…

In the junk folder. Is it really the end of the world? Is it really worth replying to the sender with a scathing missive about their violation of all sorts of U.S. and International laws, with carbon copies sent to Spamhaus, the FCC, state Attorney General, and Pope Benedict?

In extreme cases, maybe. If the email is phishing. then it’s probably a good idea to turn that over to the proper authorities. But what of the ubiquitous viagra ads, hot inside stock tips, or the newest way to make millions from home? Don’t they deserve to have the book thrown at them?

Well, maybe they do – but I can’t bring myself to care. The way I see it, I’m much better off leaving them to die unread inside my junk mail folder. So to all the male enhancement peddlers, multi-level marketers, and Nigerian dignitaries, do your worst – my junk mail folder is big enough for all of you and more.

Just what does a Quiet Storm taste like? 7.16.08

Honestly, can’t they just name a beverage by its flavor anymore?

Whatever happened to going to the refrigerated cooler, staring through the glass, and deciding on Grape or Orange or Lemon-lime? Just now, I’m in the convenience store looking for a nice refreshing non-soda beverage, and instead I’m presented with names like Quiet Storm, Glacier Blast, Cold Fusion, and Arctic Shatter. I’m not sure if they sound more like the lineup for an 80’s hair-band reunion tour or a volley of Pokemon attacks – either way, they certainly don’t give me any indication of the flavor of the drink.

I’d love to get input here…what is your favorite vaguely-named flavor? And just what does a Quiet Storm taste like?

It’s not TV, it’s birth control 6.22.08

So if you haven’t seen it, that’s the tagline for NBC’s newest steaming pile of reality show, The Baby Borrowers. But when you think about it, isn’t all reality TV the best form of birth control there is? Honestly, who can watch 5 minutes of Tila Tequila, Bret Michaels, or Tyra Banks’ crew of underfed crybabies without questioning the desire to bring a child into the world? I would think that the mere possibility of birthing a child that might end up on the 20th season of Rock of Love is enough to make anyone sterile for a very long time.

Spelling and other problems 5.19.08

I love my new place. I really do. I live three miles from where I work (go ahead, mutter curses under your breath as you stare at your most recent gas receipt), I have friends who live merely steps away, and there’s a handful of restaurants and shopping nearby. It’s a real peach of a place to live.

However, there are a few very small negatives. One of these is that a three-mile, straight-shot commute to work can make for some redundant scenery. Case in point: a certain buffet-style restaurant with a name that invokes images of a precious metal and the scene of a gunfight in a famous western movie. If you’re not sure of the name, maybe this picture will “ring a bell”…

Ok, probably not unless you’re a movie nerd like me. Anyway, on the sign in front of this restaurant, there is currently an ad for the all new “Captian’s Table” seafood buffet. Yes, that’s what it says – Captian. Not Captain, as in the commander of a ship. Or Caption, like the oft-hilarious broken English found adorning cat photos at ICanHasCheezburger.com. Not even Caspian, the mythical Prince of Narnia. You, my friends, have the privilege of sharing a table with Captian, benevolent patron saint of the all new seafood buffet.

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the positive… 1.8.08

If you ever get a little down on yourself, I’ve got a great tip: check out the local craigslist items for sale/free. I’m actually in the market for a cheap guitar, so I’ve spent a little time lately perusing the pages. I have to say, It’s a great reminder that there are good qualities to just about anything you can imagine. People get really creative in the ways they describe what can sometimes best be described as junk.

For instance, I saw a real dinosaur of a microwave that the owner was giving away. I’m sure you’ve probably seen one before, the type with only two large dials to determine the cooking time and the power level. They started with praise for its oatmeal-warming capabilities, and they finished with this beauty of a tagline:

Great for an older person or a hung over college student who doesn’t want to mess around with digital buttons first thing in the morning!

 

That, I must admit, is pure gold. Keep in mind, they were giving it away, so they probably didn’t even have to put forth that extra effort. I’ve been toying with the idea of emailing this person and offering them a job as my publicist. You know, whenever I go out, I’d send them out an hour or so ahead of me to hype up my arrival. Couldn’t hurt, right?

go with the (iTunes cover) flow 1.7.08

I think I’ve come to the realization that I am obsessed with having album art for all of my tracks in iTunes. I guess I’ve always been this way, even back in the days of my original (green) iPod mini. But now that I have a shiny new iPod nano with cover flow, I die a little inside every time I see that little gray square on the screen…

If iTunes doesn’t have the art (which happens a lot in the case of soundtracks and compilations – two of my heavy genres), I go to work on Wikipedia searching out the cover art. I’ve even reached the point where I will find a picture of an artist performing live and use it as the cover art for any live tracks, covers, or songs that were never released on an album. That’s totally normal, right?

My quest for album art also lends to my little rant for the day:

iTunes can’t find the album art for Radiohead’s Pablo Honey??? Seriously, man, wtf? iTunes is really starting to chap my hide these days, what with the “couldn’t complete your request” errors and the annoying lack of the album art I want. It reminds me that, like it or not, there’s a reason Apple is still #2.

A blog begins anew, via Windows Live Writer 1.7.08

This is my first post, written using Microsoft’s Windows Live Writer. What’s that, you say? An open-source free spirit like myself praising a product made by MS?? It’s true. Granted, I don’t have a lot of experience with desktop-based blogging software, as I’ve basically used web-based posting (and the occasional mobile phone post) in the past, but I really like what I’ve seen so far. This definitely isn’t an advertisement or anything, but if you like to blog and want a desktop software, it’s probably worth a shot.